Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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