john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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