omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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