She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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