I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
