Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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