Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
