idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
