.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
