Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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