What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize