mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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