She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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