it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
