you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
