You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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