I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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