Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
