Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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