I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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