The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
