Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
