Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
