I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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