we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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