never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Found the puke drawer
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
