I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
