1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
