Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
