Swine flu is the new snow day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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