soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
