i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
