It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
