I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
