Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
two words...techno handjob
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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