i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
