i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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