During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Randomize
