Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
