If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
