How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize