I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sponge bath it is.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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