it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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