I showed him my bush... on skype.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
