College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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