I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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