I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize