All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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