One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
