guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
