I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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