This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize