Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
