I hate your face
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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