Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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