Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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