We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
