I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
