That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize