It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
