you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
