i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
smell my finger.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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