whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
